The Loss

Several years ago, I lost the love of my life and three months later, my father.  This was compounded by then being in an abusive, toxic, rebound relationship.  I was in a stew of pain, grief, anger, severe anxiety and depression.  It engulfed me.  And as grief and tremendous loss often do in extended periods of time and this was X 3,  they elevated internal stress levels to the point of manifesting themselves in my body, affecting my endocrine, digestive and nervous systems, putting me officially, in a deep, dark hole.

But I am merely one of so many souls who have found themselves in that turbulent sea  of grief, loss and hurt.  Sadly, everyone will experience some type of loss or trauma in their lifetime. That loss could be a great love, a dear friend, a child, a parent or the family pet.  It can even be a loss of home, a long-term relationship or a traumatic event.  It can take months and even a year or so to recover, especially when you lose a love, a parent or worse, a child.  The grieving process is one of hills, pits and deep valleys.

How can one navigate this bitter terrain? For me, it was therapy and essential oils.  Yes, essential oils!

Essential Oils May Help

While in the midst of my grief, a dear friend introduced me to Young Living Essentail Oils, a global leader, farming and science innovator in the modern day of ancient Essential Oils.  My first oil was Lavender.  That first whiff produced calmness I had not felt in some time and I thought “Wow”.  Also, applying it before bed allowed me to snooze all night.  THAT was a treat for I had not slept in quite a while.  If you've had insomnia, then you know how bonkers you can feel after a long stretch of that!  Next was the essential oil blend Release. This blend was a powerful game changer for me!  It helped me get out of the stage of anger (see below).   I was ever so grateful for the essential oils as I started to use their them specifically for striving for emotional balance and although I still allowed myself to go through the grieving process as one must.  Using the oils daily loosened the grip of all that comes with grieving and hurting.  The oils helping me to move forward while also continuing to grieve, rather than stay stuck and sinking.  In time, with each phase of loss I entered, an oil or oil blend (B) was used to help me to peel away a layer of grief, a layer of hurt, a layer of hopelessness.  Layer, upon layer, upon layer, upon layer… 

 Stages of Grief – There’s an Oil for That

Introduced in the 1960s by Swiss-born psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross stated that there are five documented stages of grief (And I was in them!).  These stages are a series of emotions in sequence:  denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance

If you find yourself in any of these stages, the following Young Living essential oils and blends (B) may help you.

However, you may find you are in this state first:

SHOCK:  If you are in this stage the following oils may return you to a calm state:  Clarity (B), Trauma Life (B), Peace & Calming I or II (B), Roman Chamomile, Grounding (B) and Joy (B).  While Brain Power (B), Ylang Ylang, Vetiver (my go-to for focus) and Rosemary help you stay focused to deal with immediate tasks at hand.

Since the grieving process is a varied and personalized process, you may go through some or all of these five stages and perhaps not in this order.

DENIAL:  If you are in this stage, the following oils may help to return you to a state of acceptance:   Acceptance (B), Awaken (B), Transformation (B), Sage, Present Time (B) and Roman Chamomile.

ANGER:  This is a natural part of the process.  Allow yourself to feel it in order to let it go.  Do not hold onto it for too long.   Prolonged anger is toxic to the body or may project onto others.   These oils may help:

Calms Anger:  Peace & Calming I or II (B), Tranquil Roll-On (B), Trauma Life (B), Release (B), Orange, Lemon and Lime.

Release Locked Up Anger:  Release (B), Surrender (B), Sacred Mountain (B) and Transformation (B) and Angelica.

BARGAINING:  This is the “What if”, “If only” mantra repeat thinking that one thinks is helping in the loss.  On the contrary, it is an emotional trap that binds us to the grieving process, keeping us stuck and stagnant.  (I was stuck and deep in my pit from these mantras).  But here are some oils that may support you:  Release (B), Cypress, Bergamot, Orange, Ylang Ylang, Acceptance (B), Awaken (B), Frankincense, Rose and Hope (B).

DEPRESSION:  It’s important to realize that depression is not a sign of mental illness. It is the appropriate and natural response to great loss.  Withdrawing from life in this manner is a way of rebooting from the roller coaster ride of emotions and the physicality of painful grief when they have fully settled into you.  This natural process takes time.  Recognize it as such and help it along with these oils:   Joy (B), Tangerine, Lemon, Abundance (B), Sacred Mountain (B), Frankincense, Sandalwood, Lavender, Orange, Grapefruit, Ylang Ylang, Valor (B), Motivation (B), Clarity (B), And Hope (B). (I mixed Joy and Abundance together)

ACCEPTANCE:  This is not a point when one is “alright” with the loss, but merely ready to live with the loss, living again at fuller capacity less the other stages.  To help in living in this new reality, these oils may support you:  Envision (B), Acceptance (B), Transformation (B), Forgiveness (B), Three Wise Men (B), Hope (B), Valor (B), White Angelica (B), and Motivation (B).

 Using Essential Oils

Essential oils’ natural constituents have the unique ability to help relax the body, ease the mind and soothe spirit.  Systemically, by simply breathing them in, they can directly access, via the olfactory bulb, the brain’s Limbic System.  This includes the hippocampus, hypothalamus and amygdala.  This system helps make and store memories, control numerous emotional, voluntary, endocrine and visceral responses to our environments that we all experience daily.

Through diffusion, direct inhalation and massage, essential oils help you navigate through the sadness, declutter the mind, relax the body, release what is no longer needed and soothe.

Use a single cultivar oil, a blend (B) or you can make a homemade blend from single oils like this recipe from Gary Young – "Emotional Release Blend". This blend may stimulate a sense of harmony and balance within the mind and body, helping you release anger and memory trauma, bringing about a sense of peace and emotional well-being.

Recipe:

• 20 drops German Chamomile
• 10 drops Ledum
• 30 drops Ylang Ylang
• 25 drops Geranium
• 15 drops Sandalwood

Application:  Massage on the bottom of the feet, on pulse points and apply behind the ears. It can be worn as a perfume or cologne (just put in a 5 ml or larger amber roll-on bottle – see below.  (Essential Oils Integrative Medical Guide by D. Gary Young, ND)

 Other Ways to Use This Blend

Necklace Diffuser Blend:

• Select blend and drop half the content in the pad of a necklace diffuser.
• The scent will last for 3 to 4 days. One 4^th day, pour the other half.
• The total blend will last 7 to 15 days. After 15 days, the scent will still be there but it will not be so strong.

Roll-Ons

• Add selected blend to a dark glass roller (5ml or larger) bottle.
• Fill with carrier oil (fractionated coconut oil, almond oil..) almost up to the top.
• Shake well to mix the whole ingredients and always shake before use.
• Apply to wrists, temples, behind ears, back of neck, while also breathing in the therapeutic scent.
• The blend should last several months.

Diffuser Blend:

• Multiply your blend by 4 until you have a total of 20 drops of any blend.
• Pour the essential oils into a dark-colored glass bottle and mix well by shaking.  DO NOT add a carrier oil when using a diffuser!  Just fill diffuser with water and add only a few drops of essential oils.
• Add the right number of drops to your diffuser directly from the mix inside your dark bottle or other oils mentioned above. Make sure to follow the manufacturer’s instructions.

Young Living Essential Oils may help you during the grieving process by releasing stored and stagnant emotions.  Allow yourself to take in the soothing essential oils so they can help you deal with memories and emotions, releasing them and allowing the healing process to begin.

If you are in this fragile space, I wish you peace.  If you need assistance on selecting oils that may help you, please reach out to me.

I am here. ❤

Oily Well Wishes,

Barbara

“Time alone does not heal.  It is the loyalty to life that heals.” ~Stephanie Ericsson