GROWN AND FLOWN; WELCOME TO MY EMPTY NEST

I was at a birthday party watching a toddler eat pretzels. He innocently moved on to some other treats that were off limits to him, he had no idea they were off limits he was just hungry and they looked tasty. I was saddened by the response of the adults around me when I intervened and moved the child away from the forbidden delights. I expected full support from everyone around the table since they all knew the wishes of the parents. Instead I had to endure snide remarks from several people:

“You just come to your uncle in the future and I will give you anything you want”

“I’m the cool friend, I’ll give you the yummy goodies your parents think are bad”

“My job is to spoil you and give you anything you want”

“What’s wrong with candy? I eat candy all the time”

No. No. No.

Uncles, aunts, grandparents and family friends, when you think you know better than a child’s parents you are encouraging their precious little ones to become disobedient, disrespectful and self-indulgent. Don’t cause a child to stumble by encouraging them to disobey the guidelines set by their parents.

“If anyone causes one of these little ones to stumble it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea”   Matthew 18:6

“Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with promise” Ephesians 6:1-2

For children, one of the first steps of learning to be obedient to God is learning to be obedient to their parents.  This is something a child must be taught and teaching becomes easier when you have a strong support system.

Firecracker Jack and I support and back up our adult children’s parenting decisions 100% whether we agree with them or not. Not long ago when our son dropped off our grands for a sleepover he told us he didn’t want them to have any sweets that weekend. We didn’t mention to him that we had planned to take the kids to a new bakery in town for some scrumptious cupcakes. We just ditched the trip to the bakery. You might think that one cupcake isn’t a big deal but when you are raising children lifelong lessons are constantly being taught.

What kind of  message would we be sending to our grands if we took them out for sweets when they knew their parents didn’t want them to have them that weekend? God has placed our grands under the authority of their parents, we don’t want to undermine that authority or teach them that Grandad and Grammi know better than their parents. Parenting is hard enough without others questioning mom and dad’s decisions. 

How are you viewed by the children in your life? Are you teaching them to be devious and to disobey mommy and daddy? Are you planting seeds for a rebellious spirit? 

Our goal is to help our children raise mighty men and women of God and that begins by supporting the  boundaries they set for their children.